14 years ago....

And a little bit more....

In 1999, when the craze behind Y2K was just beginning, things were awesome, man.

We had an abundance of talented musical artists. We had news anchors we could trust. We had new and aspiring companies to believe in. CGI movies were taking us places we'd never been before. For those who had the internet, they could find a site and a community to belong to.

The idea of a new millennium was coming and we were all full of hope. A shining future where the only major arguments were about who was better: Backstreet Boys or N*Sync? It was going to be as bright as the music videos and flashy as the clothes the California cool kids were wearing.

Then 2000 came. The Y2K bug was nothing more than a few glitched computers that were quickly updated. The supermarket tabloids that claimed the end of the world was coming suddenly had to backtrack (and now those same tabloids are nothing more than celebrity lies and rumors). People's major complaints were about President Bush, Firestone tires exploding, and who Jennifer Lopez was dating that month. It carried on for a long while and things seemed to be okay. These phases were going to pass just like all the others.

Then it happened. September 11, 2001.

I was in my 2nd or 3rd period class, auto tech, when rumors were going around so much so that my teacher had the TV on so we could see the news. 

I saw the second plane hit.

I saw both towers fall.

Not the replays. In real time. I can't get them out of my head.

I remember the principal asking us to remain in our classrooms.

I remember him making an announcement later that day but I don't remember what was said. 

I remember thinking "this is the end of our shiny new future."

We tried to continue on with life as normal. School wasn't canceled for us but a lot less students showed up the next day. A few months later we had a new student arrive. A kid from New York. He said his school was close enough on the mainland that he could see the smoke rising in the sky.

It taught us Americans the importance of togetherness, not just with each other but with the people of the world. We came together to help each other, to get through a terrible tragedy, a black mark on the calendars of history. I can only imagine that after this next generation of kids is gone they won't believe the stories we tell them, much like it was for those who fought in the Gulf Wars, Vietnam, World War II, etc. Stories that fade because of a lack of interest and attention.

When people say that only 90s kids remember the 90s, I think that's true. But I think we remember being full of hope. The future was ours and we had limitless potential. We could grab life by the balls and be who we wanted to be.

9/11 only brought us closer together as a nation for a little while, but now we've forgotten how to love. People want to blame others for their own harshness without taking responsibility for their own actions. People are looking to be offended. They're looking for someone to hate.

I go through each day feeling as though I'm being judged by everyone who walks by simply because I exist. I feel like I'm being told that I have to be a certain someone. I keep wondering if the next customer I encounter and make angry over the price of food will unleash a gun and end me because they forgot to take their meds that day.

I can't claim to be a Christian anymore because it will offend someone. I'm not allowed to mention my faith anymore or tell someone to have a blessed day because I'll be fired and wind up on the chopping block because someone think I shouldn't have any faith at all.

I can't hold an intelligent conversation with an 18-year old co-worker because they're either too hyper, too cynical, or they think they already know everything. We live in the era of smart phones and stupid people. I also can't hold a conversation with the old co-workers either because they treat me as though I know nothing. 

The world has changed and it hasn't been for the better. It makes my head spin, my heart hurt, and my soul feel burdened. The bright shining future that the 90s whispered in our ears has been gagged by people who think the 90s were lying, only to whisper other lies in our ears. I can't describe it in a more poetic way because I'm being told not to talk about it by the same people. It could be a trigger for some and I have to be sensitive to everyone else.

I'm kind to people. I asked a man with a flat tire earlier today if I could help him. He needed a jack and the one in my car wasn't big enough. I bought a customer's groceries when her food stamp card was being declined. People give me tips and I use that money to help people when they're short on change. I stayed 45 minutes after I was supposed to clock out to help a blind customer around the store. 

Admittedly these are only things that have happened at my job but if they can make someone's day or life a little easier, why can't we all do that? Why do we have to listen to these people that say we should voice our discontent if we feel the slightest bit awkward? Why do we have to believe doctors who say one thing when 15 years ago other doctors were saying the complete opposite? Why are we being told by a few people that we should fear the police and hate our soldiers?

I wrote, cut, pasted, and saved away a whole paragraph I was going to write but the topic isn't appropriate to what I'm saying here. If this new world beyond 9/11 and the new millennium want us to be harsh because they say we have to be, then I say no.

Be kind.

Regardless of your religion or beliefs, if you can help out a fellow human, do it.

Don't let people tell you that being kind is wrong.